Questions and Answers II
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OA and AA
Do you believe that the standard Twelve Step approach, which was designed to overcome alcohol addiction, can be effectively applied to overeating (as is currently used in the OA model)?
No, not that effectively. OA is certainly beneficial and with positive effective for many people; however, approaches that are more in line with one’s true nature, and more empowering, may be more effective.
If we look more carefully at OA, we might begin to wonder what overeating (and other food issues, such as bulimia and anorexia) has to do with alcoholism. Why are they approached in the AA have to do with the women of today who are facing a much different problem? Not much.
I believe the powerless-based approach of AA (fully adopted by OA) is especially ill-suited for women who are hampered by issues of low self-esteem and who already feel powerless and repressed. What such women need is to cultivate a positive, empowered identity, not one based on powerlessness and faults. The steps of AA might have been effective for severe alcohol addiction but what basis is there to apply them—without (a step) being changed or revised— to the problem of overeating?
Why are the steps of AA ill-suited for the issue of overeating?
Even a simple examination of the difference between alcohol addiction and food addiction will reveal that the problems are very different and cannot be effectively addressed in the same way. First, in order to overcome an alcohol (or narcotics) addiction one must avoid the addictive substance altogether. We want to have no relationship to alcohol or narcotics. However, with food, we cannot have no relationship—we must be in a position to rectify our relationship to food. This requires a much different approach than simple avoidance. Food is directly related to survival, fulfillment, and nurturing issues—and a person seeking to rectify his or her relationship to food must also get clear on these issues. Alcohol and narcotics have nothing to do with these central concerns. Alcohol and narcotics are primarily ways to “cover up” a problem, whereas food is more often used to appease a sense of emptiness and lack. They are two very different things, with two very different sources, both of which require different approaches.
A primary issue in food addiction (which affects more women than men) relates to self-esteem and a gnawing sense of lack. It may even have a basis in the physical difference between men and women: whereas both men and women have a primary longing—which may be seen as the soul’s longing to know itself—women often express a deeper, more primal sense of emptiness which may not be addressed with the traditional 12 Step model. AA was a program which had some success in the 1930s, primarily for middle-class, white men who had a problem with alcohol. In fact, the first program, conducted by Bill Wilson was conducted on 100 white men and one woman. A woman with a food problem, living in the 21st century is not the same as a man with an alcohol addiction, living in the 1930s.
Throughout human history, women have been part of a tribe (and the food-preparers); they were always surrounded by family and supported by other women. The tribe was then replaced by the extended family, where several generations lived under one roof or in the same locale. The breakdown of the extended family, and the destabilization of the single-unit family, has left many women feeling isolated and cut off—both from others and their own hearts. Thus, a crucial sense of core, loving support is missing from the lives of many women. And even though this isolation is felt by both men and women, it is more primal to woman; women feel the isolating effects of the breakdown of the extended family more so then men. Thus, any program which seeks to help a woman with overeating issues must look at this sense of isolation and a general lack of root support (which leads to a deep sense of emptiness and the sense that something is missing). A woman responds to this sense of emptiness by trying to fill it (with food) while a man may respond to this sense of emptiness with extended activities or substances—which really means he is trying to cover it up, drown it out, or ignore it. This leads to the use of alcohol, or being a work-o-holic—addictions which are more usual in men than women.
Are there any other issues which relate specifically to women?
Girls, who are conditioned to be more passive than boys, do not, as a result, come into their expressive power. This usually results in some sense of lack, in terms of power and will (and a deficiency in the solar plexus region or third charka). From this stems a feeling of low self-esteem or a lack of self worth—both feelings of which are complete distortions of one’s true nature. The root issue is power, and a woman not being able to access her own power. The theme of “women and power” is always coming up precisely because, due to early conditioning, this innate sense of power is lacking. So, any approach involving more powerlessness and more dependency (on some outer power) is exactly the kind of crippling approach that a woman needs to avoid!
We must also consider that some women gain weight as a psychological defense, to create a physical and emotional barrier between themselves and their partner. This stems from a conscious or subconscious feeling of being dominated and controlled—and the sense of having no power in one’s relationship. Weight gain in this situation has nothing to do with a food addiction; it relates to a deep-seated feeling of powerlessness. The key here is restoring one’s innate sense of power and claiming an equal share of power (and respect) in one’s primary relationship.
So what approach is best-suited for women who are struggling with overeating issues?
The primary approach for a woman who has a problem with overeating is to engender a healthy sense of self, a positive identity, and get in touch with her innate sense of power. Embracing a positive, spirit-based set of teachings, and being part of a loving, supportive group, is also needed. There seems to be no room whatsoever—even as a remedial measure—to try and engender any kind of weakness, or admission of defects, in a woman trying to overcome food addictions and low self-esteem. The issue is powerlessness. How can more powerlessness—and now a whole group to support that powerlessness—lead to inner strength and feeling good about oneself? Ultimately it cannot.
Many people I have spoken with did not overcome their addiction by continued adherence to the Twelve Step teachings, but because they came into their own power; they came upon a source of inner resolve, or willingness, where they could finally make a choice—with power and clarity. And that choice was to put an end to their addiction. Any program which gives a person access to his or her inner power, and imparts a person with clarity and resolve, gives a person the primary means to move past addictions.
The Twelve Steps and God
Some people have a problem with the Twelve Step program because it requires a person to turn his or her will over to God. Also because it is in an overtly Christian approach, where a person has to admit his faults (to God and another person) in order to be redeemed. How is the Twelve Foundations different from this?
The 12 Steps certainly has a “Christian” feel to it; it follows the Christian model of admitting one is weak, and has faults, and then seeking to overcome those faults by appealing to a Higher Power. As you may know, The 12 Steps Program is an expansion of the old Oxford Group teachings, which were based upon this same model of admitting sin (and faults) and then seeking redemption.
I do not believe this model of weakness represents the true teachings of Christianity. Did Jesus not say: “ye are gods”? “The kingdom of heaven is within you”? “Love others as I have loved you”? These are not the teachings of weakness. All these teachings affirm the true and divine power of a human being.
Jesus also said, “resist not evil.” In other words: do not struggle against negativity; do not embrace the negative approach. This does not mean that we should accept negativity, it means we should not accept it enough to then resist it. In order to resist or fight against negativity we must first have it, we must first accept it, we must first situate our consciousness on that level—and then we must try to get rid of it. Quite simply, that which we resist, persists. With addictions (and faults), if we are focused on those addictions, and try to get rid of them, we are, in some way, perpetuating them. We are giving those addictions (and negative states) our conscious power. So long as we think about, and focus on, what we do not want, what we want to “get rid of,” we are supporting that very thing in our lives. The true approach, which is consistent with all paths of higher consciousness, and the true teachings of Christianity, is to focus on what we want, to embrace and expand the true power within.
And what about doing God’s Will?
The whole notion of “doing God’s Will” is somewhat tenuous because it implies that God has some human-type will, that God actually wants something from us. With this we come back to the notion of wanting to please God (the way we might want to please some all-powerful father figure). Again, this displaces our power (and hopes) on something outside of our own nature. Perhaps, with more clarity, we can talk about the “purposeful tendency” or movement of Universal Spirit (and how we might align ourselves with that).
What is the will or tendency of Spirit? According to some spiritual traditions, the “will” of Spirit, the direction toward which Spirit (and its universe) is always moving, is to know and experience more and more of Its own qualities, more and more of what it feels Itself to be. So, the “will” of Spirit (or God) is to experience more and more of Its own nature, which is aliveness, love, abundance, beauty, etc. If this is the will Spirit has for Itself, this is the will Spirit must have for all of its creation. Thus, a person’s own will for his own highest good, to experience more and more of his own joy is, and must be, the will that Spirit (or God) has for that person.
In our approach the call of your own nature, your own heart—which is one with Infinite Spirit—is what we want to follow. In the Twelve Foundations there is no notion of submitting our will to some Higher Power (which is fundamentally separate from us)—the expression of our own joy (and love, and abundance, and beauty) is the pure expression of Spirit’s will. This whole creation sings with joy and beauty—that is the nature of creation. Being joyous and abundant, having our lives be a song of love and beauty is the only will that Spirit (or God) can have for us.
Rational-Emotive Therapy
RET (Rational-Emotive Therapy) is a psychological-based method used to overcome "alcohol and drug dependence"; it deals with the mind, and rationality, and rejects any notion of “spirituality.” How does that compare with the Twelve Foundations?
Well, both are different from the mainstream, 12-step approach, so they are similar in that respect. RET is, in some way, a reaction to the overt “spirituality” of the 12-step approach which requires a person to “give up his will” to a “higher power”; RET puts the emphasis on the use of one’s intelligence and will, and rejects the approach of powerlessness and/or putting the responsibility for one’s recovery on some higher power. RET rejects the Christian-based approach to recovery which is put forth in the 12-steps. The Twelve Foundations rejects the powerlessness of the 12-steps, and any kind of spiritual based upon that model, but not spirituality, which involves accessing a higher part of yourself, beyond your rational mind and individual sense of will. In the Twelve Foundations we truthfully recognize that that “higher power” is who and what we really are; so we are accessing our own power, our own aliveness, our own joy—and not something outside our own self.
So, does a person have to believe in a “higher power” or Spirit to successfully participate in the Twelve Foundations group?
A person has to believe in his or her own higher power to successfully participate in life, which means to live a full and joyous life. A fundamental teaching of the Twelve Foundations is that one’s own nature, one’s own higher self, is one with Infinite Spirit. So, yes, a person has to believe in his own power—and not his powerlessness. And our “success” is not really a matter of faith or belief; our success comes when we move beyond belief and gain a direct experience of our own higher self as it illumines our life and affords us to power to improve our conditions.
RET, then, does not acknowledge such a “higher self” nor does it offer any way to get in touch with our higher self—or does it?
RET is a psychological-based approached. It is about becoming aware of the “little voice” and changing our deep-seated patterns about how we react to that voice. In that approach a person is supposed to gain some distance, and no longer identify with that voice, and then—from that position of disidentification—be able to say “no” to that voice. This part of the process, as you may notice, is exactly the same as in the spiritual practice where we learn to disidentify from our thoughts. However, why do all this just to say “no” to what you do not want?—why not then use this same approach to help you gain access to your true self and say “yes” to what you do want?—and to who you really are? (So, RET may be effectual in what it proposes to do; but, from our perspective, it is incomplete).
OK, you're not your thoughts, you are not this “little voice”—but who, then, are you? So, the “psychological” part of the process is pulling back from your thoughts, gaining some distance from “the little voice” (and then being in a better position to say “no” or “yes” to it); the “spiritual” part of the process is to then recognize that the pure awareness (that part of you which is clearly not your thoughts, which is aware of your thoughts) is who you truly are. When you come to recognize, and identify with that “higher” part of yourself (which is the pure self beyond the mind) then you come into a position of true empowerment—where you can say “no” to the little voice, and “yes” to who you truly are.
RET, then, is primarily based on saying “no” to the little voice but offers no approach by which we can say “yes” to who we truly are. So, it helps us fix a problem but does not lead to a fulfilling solution. In the Twelve Foundations we want to do both: we want to disidentify from the mind and gain the power to say “no” to the “addictive-prone” voice, and we want to be in a position to say “yes” to who we are, to that aspect of self which is aware of the voice.
When we recognize ourselves as that pure conscious presence beyond the mind, then from that position (of power, joy, and fullness) we can more easily and more convincingly say “no” to the voice and say “yes” to life. It’s not even that we say “yes” to life—we recognize ourselves as the very source of life, we come upon our true aliveness and joy. That recognition, that embrace of who we are—is the only way to truly say “yes” to life.
Foundations verses Steps
This program is called "the Twelve Foundations" yet it is presented in the form of steps, like the Twelve Steps. What are the Foundations?
Each "step" of this program is an affirmation of a fundamental principle, or foundation; the step affords us a way to approach each principle in an immediate and non-abstract way. We can learn about things, and gain spiritual understanding, but this only gains meaning for us if we are able to put them into meaningful practice. Working through the steps is part of the process by which we incorporate these principles into our own lives
The twelve foundations, or universal principles upon which this program is based, are as follows:
1. Having a true understanding of Spirit, oneself, and one’s relationship to Spirit.
2. Understanding (and realizing) one’s creative power; (understanding that thoughts and feelings are creative, that conditions are changed by a change in one’s own consciousness).
3. Aligning one’s life (thoughts and actions) with Spirit; having a positive and beneficial relationship with Life; understanding that Spirit (and the universe) is benevolent and always supportive of our highest good.
4. Knowing thyself; understanding one’s human dimension, (becoming conscious of one’s subconscious beliefs and tendencies, and bringing them into accord with one's conscious ideals).
5. Experiencing value and joy and "success" in life.
6. Living as a co-creator with Spirit; opening one’s life to the influx and grace of Spirit.
7. Establishing a supportive and beneficial relationship with one’s body and body-image.
8. Having relationships that are positive and supportive; being an integral part of a core community or tribe.
9. Taking care of the necessary requirements of life in this world; development of mastery.
10. Living a true and noble life (a life of value, truth, wholeness, and psychologically integrity); coming into our full aliveness through the systematic removal of negative subconscious blocks.
11. Meditation and the practice of presence; realizing our true nature and the very source of our life and existence.
12. The joyful and abundant expression (of one’s illumined state) with others.
A "Higher Approach" to the Twelve Steps
I have been involved with a Twelve Step group for the past eight years—and although I feel as if I have “recovered,” and will not fall back to my old ways, I am not ready to leave the group. (Meeting on a regular basis, with a group of people I know and trust, adds stability and comfort to my life.) So, can I incorporate some of the “higher” principles into my life and still stay with my group? If so, how can I do this?
Things begin to shift when your conception of God, and yourself, take on a higher resonance, when you understand the very nature of God to be your own nature. So, the most important thing is to gain this essential and truthful understanding. Once you do, once you begin to operate at a higher resonance, you will be "at odds" with the whole approach of powerlessness and no longer be able to relate to it. So, naturally, the "support" you gain from your old group will begin to fade. But, perhaps you are not ready to leave your old group just yet; and, more than likely, there is no real alternative group available. We, of course, are trying to change this. (There are, of course, some alternative groups, such as yoga groups or "Power of Mind" groups, but these groups do not offer the fundamental support which comes from an emphasis on the group and regular group meetings).
So, is there no way to reconcile the 12-Steps with the Twelve Fondations?
The “breathing room” in the Twelve Steps is found in Step Three, where it says, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” So, how do you understand God? How do you understand yourself--the one whose will you are turning over to God?
An essential understanding and “life-vector” of the Twelve Foundations is that we, as human beings, always exist in two dimensions or modes of being: we have our temporary, conditioned, relatively powerless, human self (or “me”) and we have (or are) our timeless, transcendent, one-with-Spirit divine self (or “I Am.”) In our normal life, we are completely identified with our human self, and self-image, and completely ignorant of our true, divine self. It’s as if our true self did not even exist; our consciousness, our sense of self—from the moment we “wake up” in the morning, till the time we go to sleep—and even after that—is completely involved with our relative human self. We live through a mind-made creation of ourselves and completely miss our true self.
So, there is a difference between the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Foundations in terms of what self we are identified with, in terms of where we are located in our approach to the steps. If we are totally identified with our relatively weak, human self (or “me”)—believing this part of ourselves to be the whole of who we are—then the statement, “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions, that our lives had become unmanageable” could be true. Thus, we could say, “We (my higher self) admitted that we (my lower self or selves) were powerless over our additions; that our human lives (bereft of any connection with our true self) had become unmanageable.”
Which self are you identified with? Through which self are you living your life and hoping to improve? Are you identified with the consciousness that is aware of the human side and its addiction (our true "I"), or are your identified with our human side (or "me"), which has been derailed by its addiction (and is presently so lost in itself, and its mind-made version of self, that it is completely unaware of its connection to our higher self)? So, we can approach each step from the perspective of our lower self or from our higher self. Sometimes both approaches are needed; however, a approach solely based on our limited human identity (which does not embrace our complete self) can only bring relative gains but no lasting transformation.
The second and third steps, of the Twelve Steps, can also be viewed from a higher dimension, from a more illumined understanding (than is traditionally taught). Step Two says: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” The power greater than our relative, human self is our true self, our own one-with-Spirit consciousness; thus, this step could outline a shift in power from our lower self to our true self—and it is this shift which can help restore us to wholeness and make way for a well-adjusted, full, and joyous life. Step three says: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” Again, this offers a possible approach by which we can truly position ourselves in accord with our higher, one-with-God self—and not with some "Father" God who forever remains distant from our own being.
“Turning our will and our lives over” means that we take pains to align our consciousness, and our present identity, with our higher self; such that our lower self comes to be in service to our higher self. In this way, our human life (including our will, thoughts, actions, etc.) is always inclined toward, and in support of, our higher self.
Why would we want to do this--align or "turn over" our lower self to our higher self?
Because it is a true way to live; it is way of life wherein we gain access to the wholeness, joy, and aliveness that we truly are. Aligning our lower self, our human side, with our divine side—or “turning our will and our lives over to the care of God”—does not mean that we lose something; it only means that we lose the pain of our small self. We don’t lose our small self—we gain it! In the embrace of our true self, we embrace the whole of who we are—both our human and divine selves. In this embrace we are finally able to enjoy our human self. In this embrace, our human life is illumined with our true inherent qualities, such as love, joy, aliveness, abundance, and beauty. So, we definitely what to do this; we definitely want to joyous and fulfilled
So, by holding onto our small self—which means believing this small self to be the whole of who we are—we really lose it?
Yes, and you lose much more—you lose (or become completely unaware of) your true self, your one-with-Spirit self, your filled-with-light self. When you identify with but a small part of your total self, believing that part to be the whole of who you are, then you miss the whole. However, when you embrace the whole of who you are, your true, one-with-Spirit self, you gain the whole and all the parts; all the parts (all the parts of your life) are illumined.
So, can we just stay with the Twelve Steps, and simply look for a “higher” way to approach each step?
You could. In this case, the true “completion” of the step might be its resolution in the positive, its deliverance from our lower self to our higher self. Each step could begin (as it usually does) from the perspective of our lower self, from identification with that self. We could work on stabilizing that self, trying to improve the conditions associated with that self. When that work is complete (in accordance with each step) we could then shift to a “higher” approach and seek to move beyond the lower self (and its problems). So, each step would have two parts and two “completions”: one completion would be in terms of our lower, human self (which, if we are completely identified with our lower self, is the only way we can complete it); the second completion would be from the perspective of our higher self. (So, in terms of the first step: the first "completion" would be to accept the utter helplessness and hopelessness of one's present human-based identity, and to no longer completely rely upon that version of self to deliver usto love and fulfillment; the second "completion" would be to gain a true understanding and an experience of one's true self, which is the true source of one's power, love, and fulfillment. Completing the first part, without the second, is, well, incomplete and unfulfilling, and does not deliver us to a whole and joyous life).
However, in terms of your question, you cannot simply make this shift to a “higher approach” on your own and continuing participating in a typical 12 Step group; for there to be true group support—and for one’s group participation to have any real meaning—you must have a group where there is a shared intention and a commonality of approach. So, if other people are in your situation, perhaps you could start a “higher resonance” 12-Step group. However, once you have a few people, all resonating at a higher level, and all having a true understanding of their own power, then you would have no interest in forming such a 12-Step group. You would simply want to form a Twelve Foundations group—and we could help you with that.
Besides,The Twelve Foundations is not wholly about overcoming human-based addictions, and it is not focused on that. It is really based on overcoming the addiction we have to our human self, to our limited sense of self, to our conditioned identity, to our mind-based sense of self. We are addicted to a small and somewhat miserable part of ourselves—and, by holding onto this small part, believing it to be the whole of who we are, we miss the true glory of our total being. All the minor addictions—to food, alcohol, narcotics, etc.—are but by-products, or disjointed manifestations, of this fundamental addiction we have to our false and limited sense of self. So, we are not only looking to improve the small self—or what may be called “this dream you are having of yourself”—we are looking to have you wake up from the dream altogether.
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OA and AA
Do you believe that the standard Twelve Step approach, which was designed to overcome alcohol addiction, can be effectively applied to overeating (as is currently used in the OA model)?
No, not that effectively. OA is certainly beneficial and with positive effective for many people; however, approaches that are more in line with one’s true nature, and more empowering, may be more effective.
If we look more carefully at OA, we might begin to wonder what overeating (and other food issues, such as bulimia and anorexia) has to do with alcoholism. Why are they approached in the AA have to do with the women of today who are facing a much different problem? Not much.
I believe the powerless-based approach of AA (fully adopted by OA) is especially ill-suited for women who are hampered by issues of low self-esteem and who already feel powerless and repressed. What such women need is to cultivate a positive, empowered identity, not one based on powerlessness and faults. The steps of AA might have been effective for severe alcohol addiction but what basis is there to apply them—without (a step) being changed or revised— to the problem of overeating?
Why are the steps of AA ill-suited for the issue of overeating?
Even a simple examination of the difference between alcohol addiction and food addiction will reveal that the problems are very different and cannot be effectively addressed in the same way. First, in order to overcome an alcohol (or narcotics) addiction one must avoid the addictive substance altogether. We want to have no relationship to alcohol or narcotics. However, with food, we cannot have no relationship—we must be in a position to rectify our relationship to food. This requires a much different approach than simple avoidance. Food is directly related to survival, fulfillment, and nurturing issues—and a person seeking to rectify his or her relationship to food must also get clear on these issues. Alcohol and narcotics have nothing to do with these central concerns. Alcohol and narcotics are primarily ways to “cover up” a problem, whereas food is more often used to appease a sense of emptiness and lack. They are two very different things, with two very different sources, both of which require different approaches.
A primary issue in food addiction (which affects more women than men) relates to self-esteem and a gnawing sense of lack. It may even have a basis in the physical difference between men and women: whereas both men and women have a primary longing—which may be seen as the soul’s longing to know itself—women often express a deeper, more primal sense of emptiness which may not be addressed with the traditional 12 Step model. AA was a program which had some success in the 1930s, primarily for middle-class, white men who had a problem with alcohol. In fact, the first program, conducted by Bill Wilson was conducted on 100 white men and one woman. A woman with a food problem, living in the 21st century is not the same as a man with an alcohol addiction, living in the 1930s.
Throughout human history, women have been part of a tribe (and the food-preparers); they were always surrounded by family and supported by other women. The tribe was then replaced by the extended family, where several generations lived under one roof or in the same locale. The breakdown of the extended family, and the destabilization of the single-unit family, has left many women feeling isolated and cut off—both from others and their own hearts. Thus, a crucial sense of core, loving support is missing from the lives of many women. And even though this isolation is felt by both men and women, it is more primal to woman; women feel the isolating effects of the breakdown of the extended family more so then men. Thus, any program which seeks to help a woman with overeating issues must look at this sense of isolation and a general lack of root support (which leads to a deep sense of emptiness and the sense that something is missing). A woman responds to this sense of emptiness by trying to fill it (with food) while a man may respond to this sense of emptiness with extended activities or substances—which really means he is trying to cover it up, drown it out, or ignore it. This leads to the use of alcohol, or being a work-o-holic—addictions which are more usual in men than women.
Are there any other issues which relate specifically to women?
Girls, who are conditioned to be more passive than boys, do not, as a result, come into their expressive power. This usually results in some sense of lack, in terms of power and will (and a deficiency in the solar plexus region or third charka). From this stems a feeling of low self-esteem or a lack of self worth—both feelings of which are complete distortions of one’s true nature. The root issue is power, and a woman not being able to access her own power. The theme of “women and power” is always coming up precisely because, due to early conditioning, this innate sense of power is lacking. So, any approach involving more powerlessness and more dependency (on some outer power) is exactly the kind of crippling approach that a woman needs to avoid!
We must also consider that some women gain weight as a psychological defense, to create a physical and emotional barrier between themselves and their partner. This stems from a conscious or subconscious feeling of being dominated and controlled—and the sense of having no power in one’s relationship. Weight gain in this situation has nothing to do with a food addiction; it relates to a deep-seated feeling of powerlessness. The key here is restoring one’s innate sense of power and claiming an equal share of power (and respect) in one’s primary relationship.
So what approach is best-suited for women who are struggling with overeating issues?
The primary approach for a woman who has a problem with overeating is to engender a healthy sense of self, a positive identity, and get in touch with her innate sense of power. Embracing a positive, spirit-based set of teachings, and being part of a loving, supportive group, is also needed. There seems to be no room whatsoever—even as a remedial measure—to try and engender any kind of weakness, or admission of defects, in a woman trying to overcome food addictions and low self-esteem. The issue is powerlessness. How can more powerlessness—and now a whole group to support that powerlessness—lead to inner strength and feeling good about oneself? Ultimately it cannot.
Many people I have spoken with did not overcome their addiction by continued adherence to the Twelve Step teachings, but because they came into their own power; they came upon a source of inner resolve, or willingness, where they could finally make a choice—with power and clarity. And that choice was to put an end to their addiction. Any program which gives a person access to his or her inner power, and imparts a person with clarity and resolve, gives a person the primary means to move past addictions.
The Twelve Steps and God
Some people have a problem with the Twelve Step program because it requires a person to turn his or her will over to God. Also because it is in an overtly Christian approach, where a person has to admit his faults (to God and another person) in order to be redeemed. How is the Twelve Foundations different from this?
The 12 Steps certainly has a “Christian” feel to it; it follows the Christian model of admitting one is weak, and has faults, and then seeking to overcome those faults by appealing to a Higher Power. As you may know, The 12 Steps Program is an expansion of the old Oxford Group teachings, which were based upon this same model of admitting sin (and faults) and then seeking redemption.
I do not believe this model of weakness represents the true teachings of Christianity. Did Jesus not say: “ye are gods”? “The kingdom of heaven is within you”? “Love others as I have loved you”? These are not the teachings of weakness. All these teachings affirm the true and divine power of a human being.
Jesus also said, “resist not evil.” In other words: do not struggle against negativity; do not embrace the negative approach. This does not mean that we should accept negativity, it means we should not accept it enough to then resist it. In order to resist or fight against negativity we must first have it, we must first accept it, we must first situate our consciousness on that level—and then we must try to get rid of it. Quite simply, that which we resist, persists. With addictions (and faults), if we are focused on those addictions, and try to get rid of them, we are, in some way, perpetuating them. We are giving those addictions (and negative states) our conscious power. So long as we think about, and focus on, what we do not want, what we want to “get rid of,” we are supporting that very thing in our lives. The true approach, which is consistent with all paths of higher consciousness, and the true teachings of Christianity, is to focus on what we want, to embrace and expand the true power within.
And what about doing God’s Will?
The whole notion of “doing God’s Will” is somewhat tenuous because it implies that God has some human-type will, that God actually wants something from us. With this we come back to the notion of wanting to please God (the way we might want to please some all-powerful father figure). Again, this displaces our power (and hopes) on something outside of our own nature. Perhaps, with more clarity, we can talk about the “purposeful tendency” or movement of Universal Spirit (and how we might align ourselves with that).
What is the will or tendency of Spirit? According to some spiritual traditions, the “will” of Spirit, the direction toward which Spirit (and its universe) is always moving, is to know and experience more and more of Its own qualities, more and more of what it feels Itself to be. So, the “will” of Spirit (or God) is to experience more and more of Its own nature, which is aliveness, love, abundance, beauty, etc. If this is the will Spirit has for Itself, this is the will Spirit must have for all of its creation. Thus, a person’s own will for his own highest good, to experience more and more of his own joy is, and must be, the will that Spirit (or God) has for that person.
In our approach the call of your own nature, your own heart—which is one with Infinite Spirit—is what we want to follow. In the Twelve Foundations there is no notion of submitting our will to some Higher Power (which is fundamentally separate from us)—the expression of our own joy (and love, and abundance, and beauty) is the pure expression of Spirit’s will. This whole creation sings with joy and beauty—that is the nature of creation. Being joyous and abundant, having our lives be a song of love and beauty is the only will that Spirit (or God) can have for us.
Rational-Emotive Therapy
RET (Rational-Emotive Therapy) is a psychological-based method used to overcome "alcohol and drug dependence"; it deals with the mind, and rationality, and rejects any notion of “spirituality.” How does that compare with the Twelve Foundations?
Well, both are different from the mainstream, 12-step approach, so they are similar in that respect. RET is, in some way, a reaction to the overt “spirituality” of the 12-step approach which requires a person to “give up his will” to a “higher power”; RET puts the emphasis on the use of one’s intelligence and will, and rejects the approach of powerlessness and/or putting the responsibility for one’s recovery on some higher power. RET rejects the Christian-based approach to recovery which is put forth in the 12-steps. The Twelve Foundations rejects the powerlessness of the 12-steps, and any kind of spiritual based upon that model, but not spirituality, which involves accessing a higher part of yourself, beyond your rational mind and individual sense of will. In the Twelve Foundations we truthfully recognize that that “higher power” is who and what we really are; so we are accessing our own power, our own aliveness, our own joy—and not something outside our own self.
So, does a person have to believe in a “higher power” or Spirit to successfully participate in the Twelve Foundations group?
A person has to believe in his or her own higher power to successfully participate in life, which means to live a full and joyous life. A fundamental teaching of the Twelve Foundations is that one’s own nature, one’s own higher self, is one with Infinite Spirit. So, yes, a person has to believe in his own power—and not his powerlessness. And our “success” is not really a matter of faith or belief; our success comes when we move beyond belief and gain a direct experience of our own higher self as it illumines our life and affords us to power to improve our conditions.
RET, then, does not acknowledge such a “higher self” nor does it offer any way to get in touch with our higher self—or does it?
RET is a psychological-based approached. It is about becoming aware of the “little voice” and changing our deep-seated patterns about how we react to that voice. In that approach a person is supposed to gain some distance, and no longer identify with that voice, and then—from that position of disidentification—be able to say “no” to that voice. This part of the process, as you may notice, is exactly the same as in the spiritual practice where we learn to disidentify from our thoughts. However, why do all this just to say “no” to what you do not want?—why not then use this same approach to help you gain access to your true self and say “yes” to what you do want?—and to who you really are? (So, RET may be effectual in what it proposes to do; but, from our perspective, it is incomplete).
OK, you're not your thoughts, you are not this “little voice”—but who, then, are you? So, the “psychological” part of the process is pulling back from your thoughts, gaining some distance from “the little voice” (and then being in a better position to say “no” or “yes” to it); the “spiritual” part of the process is to then recognize that the pure awareness (that part of you which is clearly not your thoughts, which is aware of your thoughts) is who you truly are. When you come to recognize, and identify with that “higher” part of yourself (which is the pure self beyond the mind) then you come into a position of true empowerment—where you can say “no” to the little voice, and “yes” to who you truly are.
RET, then, is primarily based on saying “no” to the little voice but offers no approach by which we can say “yes” to who we truly are. So, it helps us fix a problem but does not lead to a fulfilling solution. In the Twelve Foundations we want to do both: we want to disidentify from the mind and gain the power to say “no” to the “addictive-prone” voice, and we want to be in a position to say “yes” to who we are, to that aspect of self which is aware of the voice.
When we recognize ourselves as that pure conscious presence beyond the mind, then from that position (of power, joy, and fullness) we can more easily and more convincingly say “no” to the voice and say “yes” to life. It’s not even that we say “yes” to life—we recognize ourselves as the very source of life, we come upon our true aliveness and joy. That recognition, that embrace of who we are—is the only way to truly say “yes” to life.
Foundations verses Steps
This program is called "the Twelve Foundations" yet it is presented in the form of steps, like the Twelve Steps. What are the Foundations?
Each "step" of this program is an affirmation of a fundamental principle, or foundation; the step affords us a way to approach each principle in an immediate and non-abstract way. We can learn about things, and gain spiritual understanding, but this only gains meaning for us if we are able to put them into meaningful practice. Working through the steps is part of the process by which we incorporate these principles into our own lives
The twelve foundations, or universal principles upon which this program is based, are as follows:
1. Having a true understanding of Spirit, oneself, and one’s relationship to Spirit.
2. Understanding (and realizing) one’s creative power; (understanding that thoughts and feelings are creative, that conditions are changed by a change in one’s own consciousness).
3. Aligning one’s life (thoughts and actions) with Spirit; having a positive and beneficial relationship with Life; understanding that Spirit (and the universe) is benevolent and always supportive of our highest good.
4. Knowing thyself; understanding one’s human dimension, (becoming conscious of one’s subconscious beliefs and tendencies, and bringing them into accord with one's conscious ideals).
5. Experiencing value and joy and "success" in life.
6. Living as a co-creator with Spirit; opening one’s life to the influx and grace of Spirit.
7. Establishing a supportive and beneficial relationship with one’s body and body-image.
8. Having relationships that are positive and supportive; being an integral part of a core community or tribe.
9. Taking care of the necessary requirements of life in this world; development of mastery.
10. Living a true and noble life (a life of value, truth, wholeness, and psychologically integrity); coming into our full aliveness through the systematic removal of negative subconscious blocks.
11. Meditation and the practice of presence; realizing our true nature and the very source of our life and existence.
12. The joyful and abundant expression (of one’s illumined state) with others.
A "Higher Approach" to the Twelve Steps
I have been involved with a Twelve Step group for the past eight years—and although I feel as if I have “recovered,” and will not fall back to my old ways, I am not ready to leave the group. (Meeting on a regular basis, with a group of people I know and trust, adds stability and comfort to my life.) So, can I incorporate some of the “higher” principles into my life and still stay with my group? If so, how can I do this?
Things begin to shift when your conception of God, and yourself, take on a higher resonance, when you understand the very nature of God to be your own nature. So, the most important thing is to gain this essential and truthful understanding. Once you do, once you begin to operate at a higher resonance, you will be "at odds" with the whole approach of powerlessness and no longer be able to relate to it. So, naturally, the "support" you gain from your old group will begin to fade. But, perhaps you are not ready to leave your old group just yet; and, more than likely, there is no real alternative group available. We, of course, are trying to change this. (There are, of course, some alternative groups, such as yoga groups or "Power of Mind" groups, but these groups do not offer the fundamental support which comes from an emphasis on the group and regular group meetings).
So, is there no way to reconcile the 12-Steps with the Twelve Fondations?
The “breathing room” in the Twelve Steps is found in Step Three, where it says, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” So, how do you understand God? How do you understand yourself--the one whose will you are turning over to God?
An essential understanding and “life-vector” of the Twelve Foundations is that we, as human beings, always exist in two dimensions or modes of being: we have our temporary, conditioned, relatively powerless, human self (or “me”) and we have (or are) our timeless, transcendent, one-with-Spirit divine self (or “I Am.”) In our normal life, we are completely identified with our human self, and self-image, and completely ignorant of our true, divine self. It’s as if our true self did not even exist; our consciousness, our sense of self—from the moment we “wake up” in the morning, till the time we go to sleep—and even after that—is completely involved with our relative human self. We live through a mind-made creation of ourselves and completely miss our true self.
So, there is a difference between the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Foundations in terms of what self we are identified with, in terms of where we are located in our approach to the steps. If we are totally identified with our relatively weak, human self (or “me”)—believing this part of ourselves to be the whole of who we are—then the statement, “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions, that our lives had become unmanageable” could be true. Thus, we could say, “We (my higher self) admitted that we (my lower self or selves) were powerless over our additions; that our human lives (bereft of any connection with our true self) had become unmanageable.”
Which self are you identified with? Through which self are you living your life and hoping to improve? Are you identified with the consciousness that is aware of the human side and its addiction (our true "I"), or are your identified with our human side (or "me"), which has been derailed by its addiction (and is presently so lost in itself, and its mind-made version of self, that it is completely unaware of its connection to our higher self)? So, we can approach each step from the perspective of our lower self or from our higher self. Sometimes both approaches are needed; however, a approach solely based on our limited human identity (which does not embrace our complete self) can only bring relative gains but no lasting transformation.
The second and third steps, of the Twelve Steps, can also be viewed from a higher dimension, from a more illumined understanding (than is traditionally taught). Step Two says: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” The power greater than our relative, human self is our true self, our own one-with-Spirit consciousness; thus, this step could outline a shift in power from our lower self to our true self—and it is this shift which can help restore us to wholeness and make way for a well-adjusted, full, and joyous life. Step three says: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” Again, this offers a possible approach by which we can truly position ourselves in accord with our higher, one-with-God self—and not with some "Father" God who forever remains distant from our own being.
“Turning our will and our lives over” means that we take pains to align our consciousness, and our present identity, with our higher self; such that our lower self comes to be in service to our higher self. In this way, our human life (including our will, thoughts, actions, etc.) is always inclined toward, and in support of, our higher self.
Why would we want to do this--align or "turn over" our lower self to our higher self?
Because it is a true way to live; it is way of life wherein we gain access to the wholeness, joy, and aliveness that we truly are. Aligning our lower self, our human side, with our divine side—or “turning our will and our lives over to the care of God”—does not mean that we lose something; it only means that we lose the pain of our small self. We don’t lose our small self—we gain it! In the embrace of our true self, we embrace the whole of who we are—both our human and divine selves. In this embrace we are finally able to enjoy our human self. In this embrace, our human life is illumined with our true inherent qualities, such as love, joy, aliveness, abundance, and beauty. So, we definitely what to do this; we definitely want to joyous and fulfilled
So, by holding onto our small self—which means believing this small self to be the whole of who we are—we really lose it?
Yes, and you lose much more—you lose (or become completely unaware of) your true self, your one-with-Spirit self, your filled-with-light self. When you identify with but a small part of your total self, believing that part to be the whole of who you are, then you miss the whole. However, when you embrace the whole of who you are, your true, one-with-Spirit self, you gain the whole and all the parts; all the parts (all the parts of your life) are illumined.
So, can we just stay with the Twelve Steps, and simply look for a “higher” way to approach each step?
You could. In this case, the true “completion” of the step might be its resolution in the positive, its deliverance from our lower self to our higher self. Each step could begin (as it usually does) from the perspective of our lower self, from identification with that self. We could work on stabilizing that self, trying to improve the conditions associated with that self. When that work is complete (in accordance with each step) we could then shift to a “higher” approach and seek to move beyond the lower self (and its problems). So, each step would have two parts and two “completions”: one completion would be in terms of our lower, human self (which, if we are completely identified with our lower self, is the only way we can complete it); the second completion would be from the perspective of our higher self. (So, in terms of the first step: the first "completion" would be to accept the utter helplessness and hopelessness of one's present human-based identity, and to no longer completely rely upon that version of self to deliver usto love and fulfillment; the second "completion" would be to gain a true understanding and an experience of one's true self, which is the true source of one's power, love, and fulfillment. Completing the first part, without the second, is, well, incomplete and unfulfilling, and does not deliver us to a whole and joyous life).
However, in terms of your question, you cannot simply make this shift to a “higher approach” on your own and continuing participating in a typical 12 Step group; for there to be true group support—and for one’s group participation to have any real meaning—you must have a group where there is a shared intention and a commonality of approach. So, if other people are in your situation, perhaps you could start a “higher resonance” 12-Step group. However, once you have a few people, all resonating at a higher level, and all having a true understanding of their own power, then you would have no interest in forming such a 12-Step group. You would simply want to form a Twelve Foundations group—and we could help you with that.
Besides,The Twelve Foundations is not wholly about overcoming human-based addictions, and it is not focused on that. It is really based on overcoming the addiction we have to our human self, to our limited sense of self, to our conditioned identity, to our mind-based sense of self. We are addicted to a small and somewhat miserable part of ourselves—and, by holding onto this small part, believing it to be the whole of who we are, we miss the true glory of our total being. All the minor addictions—to food, alcohol, narcotics, etc.—are but by-products, or disjointed manifestations, of this fundamental addiction we have to our false and limited sense of self. So, we are not only looking to improve the small self—or what may be called “this dream you are having of yourself”—we are looking to have you wake up from the dream altogether.
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